“The life of less, one bent on simplicity, and not needing or wanting anything other than what God has deemed good for you turns out to be all you could ever need or want.”
― Hayley and Michael DiMarco
How many times in your life have you found that something you really want is not something you need at all? How often do you pass on something you really need because you don't want it? I find that most often, my wants rarely reflect my needs, and that holds true in almost every aspect of my life.
Food: I want foods that have little or no nutritional value, even though I know they're not good for me. And when I get them, I can convince myself that they're satisfying a need. But in reality, our bodies fool us into things like that, and a vicious cycle begins with that act. When I supply my body with what it needs, I find that I really don't want much of anything. But often what my body needs is nothing close to what I think I want. Food is a need, but we don't need all types of food. Here's another example... When I'm thirsty, I want a soda or a beer or something like that. But what my body needs is water. So in consuming what I want, I'm not truly satisfying a need, and normally I'm left still wanting more. And often times what I want will do more harm to me than good.
Possessions: Of course I want nice things. Of course I wish that money were no object, and I could purchase the things I'd like to have. But all to often, those things that I want are things that I don't need in any way, shape, or form. Surprisingly, however, even though I have all that I truly need, I fool myself into thinking that there is still something missing. And from that, once again, develops behavior that is not only unnecessary, it's often damaging, and I have the debt to prove it.
Provision: How many among us desire a different job, then get it, and still find it unfulfilling? We dream of something better.. "If I could only get a job doing....., I'd be happy". But even when people get what they want, if it doesn't fulfill a need, it can feel quite empty and leave them still searching for "just the right thing".
Love & Affection: Such a big thing this is. We all, at some time or another, find ourselves wanting specific things from our relationships - friendships, work relationships, romantic love, or family. But how do you identify what you need from those relationships? Love, affection, sex, friendship, trust, and camaraderie are based so fundamentally on emotion and chemistry that it's very hard sometimes to know what we really need. And unlike our basic physical needs, I feel that what we need emotionally varies dramatically from one person to the next, so there is no real template for those needs like there is for nutrition and physical health.
So what happens when we spend our time and energy pursuing our wants while neglecting our needs? And is there danger in only addressing our most basic true needs while neglecting the desires of our hearts? It's sad, really, that we view these things in such separate contexts, as if they can't coexist. I've also found that there's an inherent trap, as a believer, in taking lightly God's plan for our lives. Too often I've found myself getting something that I desire and telling myself that since I was able to acquire it, it must be God's will for me to have it. And since it's God's will for me to have it, I must need it. See the problem? When opportunity meets desire, it's very easy to call it divine and embrace it as such, regardless of whether or not it builds us up or ultimately tears us down. And when we get torn down by something we were sure we wanted, it's just as easy to blame God for that since it was, in our minds, His doing. So how do we know? How do we know if we're getting something that's needed... something that is good for us? How do we know we're not simply getting and doing what we want?
When I get what I want but I'm left wanting more, it's pretty safe to say it's something I don't really need, and that's probably the most common occurrence in my life. But occasionally, something or someone comes along and is added to my life that is not only unexpected, but is something I would have never thought I wanted OR needed. And those things I put under great scrutiny and careful consideration, and I shine a bright light on them because I'm suspicious. In the end, sometimes I find out that those things were not as they originally appeared, and ended up truly being something I didn't want or need. But every now and then I find that I'm blessed with someone or something that can truly satisfy a want AND a need that I didn't know I had. How do I know that? How do I know it really is a gift from God? Because it lasts. And it builds me and strengthens me. And it leaves me wanting nothing more.
When you are given a gift that is so completely satisfying that you can't explain to anyone how you feel and you aren't compelled to degrade it by trying, you've likely been given something that meets both a need and a desire. God has given us plenty of examples of this: Grace, forgiveness, peace... all things that we both want and need, whether we realize it or not, and all things that are often times difficult to explain. But don't discount the gifts you receive on an interpersonal level... God works through those things too. And in the acceptance of those gifts is something amazing-these two seemingly separate forces, want and need, can sometimes come together and build us up, give us peace, and help us move toward having the life that God has chosen for us.
Peace,
Mike
