This is Part II of a post from 10-2-2009. Click here to read Part I.
I was standing in the kitchen a day or two after I had prayed for God to take control of my health and lead me to whoever or whatever would help me restore my health. My wife said to me, somewhat out of the blue, "have you ever considered checking out that weight loss program at the hospital?" "Yes, but it's very expensive. I don't know if we can afford it" I answered. Her reply was something like "might not hurt to just check it out". Those were probably the strongest words she could have spoken to me that day. I needed to know that someone else was concerned, too, so that it wasn't just me doing it for me. So I decided that would be the starting point. I went to the free introductory meeting, got the information and the prices, and went home and started thinking about how that could work.
I did the math and found that by eliminating all of the destructive eating that I was doing, I freed up exactly enough money weekly to cover the cost of the program.
What a coincidence.
There were some preliminary tests to be done so that the administrators had a solid reference point, but I had just had most of those same tests done by my family physician, so all of those results were available with minimal effort or additional cost.
Again, what a coincidence.
The first night that I went, I saw a friend from church that was just starting, too. She and I both said that it was so nice to see a familiar face and it would be great to have someone we each knew to help with accountability.
Just another coincidence, I suppose.
And it started. Just like that. I started the program June 15th, 2009. I lost 13 pounds the first week. And it just kept coming off. I would weigh myself at night before bed, then again when I got up in the morning. I would smile, sometimes almost laugh as I thanked God and looked at the numbers on the scale. I lost weight every day...every week. A couple weeks into it, I started feeling a wave of energy that lasted longer than I had ever experienced. I didn't want to sleep. I couldn't wear myself out at work. I couldn't seem to find enough things to do to exhaust myself. Within a week of first feeling that, one of the administrators of the program handed out a twelve week training program for running. "No way. The only way you'll catch me running is if the pizza guy forgets to leave my breadsticks" was my canned response to running. The program is a walk-to-run training regimen that takes someone who doesn't run from walking to running 5k (3.1 miles) in twelve weeks. Having never been an athlete, I was skeptical. I just assumed that all those programs were for people who were already athletic. I showed it to my wife, and she said that if I was going to do it, she wanted to do it with me.
What a coincidence.
The first time the training called for a thirty second run, I thought I would die. I smoked for twenty years. I was still overweight, but that was changing fast. But we stayed with it. We did it 6 nights a week, just like the plan called for. Our kids went with us on nights where there wasn't much running. And I ran. We ran. We started to schedule things around our training, leaving enough time to fit it in every day. And the schedule held. Our lives didn't fall apart or become impossible to coordinate, even though we had just added in a new daily task. We both felt good, and it worked.
What a coincidence.
On a cold, rainy Sunday in July, my wife said she really didn't want to go out and run in the rain. We have a good treadmill that had seen very little use beyond the first two weeks in January every year, so she was going to do her time on the treadmill. Obviously, we can't run together on the treadmill, so I told her I was going to run outside. I walked out, stood in the driveway, and thought to myself:
You've never run a mile in your life. You've never even run just to see how far you can run. This running thing isn't as bad as you thought. You should just run today. Just run.
So I did. I ran. And it felt good, really good. At a mile and a half, I smiled. I looked up and said "look at me, God, I'm running. You've got me running!" Guess how far I ran that night? Yep, 3.1 miles. Five weeks into a twelve week program, I ran 3.1 miles. And the weight just kept coming off.
What a coincidence.
Since then I've run in four 5k events, winning third in my age group at one of those. My wife and I have run two of those together, and we have one more scheduled for October 10. I started a 10k training program three weeks ago, and I'm running about twenty miles a week now. I ride a bicycle and I kayak. I'm not trying to drag out a list of all my accomplishments. These are not MY accomplishments. If you go back and read my early posts, you'll notice that there's no mention of any of this before now. This is new. This is God's prescription for my health. And I can't help but feel that it came just in time.
What a coincidence.
At the beginning of the weight loss program, I had to set a goal weight. I didn't want to get wrapped up in the numbers, but I understood that there has to be a goal. I set my goal weight at 200 lbs. At that time, I was almost 270. The NP told me that 200 would be a healthy weight for me, so that's what went in the book. On September 23, 2009, fifteen weeks into the program, I weighed in at 198 lbs. That was a little over two weeks ago. I've continued to lose weight in those two weeks, and I continue to run with my wife. Here's some more of my numbers/stats/info:
Blood pressure going in: 145/85
Blood pressure now: 106/62
Resting heart rate going in: 90
Resting heart rate now: 50
Cholesterol down 70 points
Blood sugar dead-center in "normal" range
Over 27 total inches of body dimension eliminated (neck, chest, waist, and thighs)
Waist size going in: 40-42
Waist size now: 34
Shirt/jacket size going in: XXL/50 regular
Shirt/jacket size now: MEDIUM/ 42-43 regular
No more antidepressant medication
No more triglyceride medication
Cholesterol medication under review, possibly removing it, too
I've had surgery on both of my hands this summer, relieving some long-standing pain and symptoms form Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. I've had a torn rotator cuff that's scheduled for surgery on October 15, 2009. I also have a 10k race schedule for 9 days after that. Should be interesting.
So, what is my point in sharing all of this? Well, like I said, it's been a year of renewal and repair for me. And it's all been at God's direction. All of this just feels as though, like I've written before, God is staging me for something bigger. There may not be a clear path ahead of me yet, but He's trying to give me a sense of direction. Maybe a starting point. I don't know. But it feels like a new direction. It's kind of funny.....the name of the program I'm in at the hospital is called New Direction.
What a coincidence.
Peace,
Mike
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
It's In There
Raise your hand if you've ever been sad.
That's what I thought.
At some point, we all go through times where something just isn't right. We feel sad, and maybe we're not sure why. For some, there's a clinical explanation. Maybe it's depression, or grief, or anxiety. But even when you're told that there's a logical explanation for feeling the way you do, that doesn't make you feel any better.
I recently went through a time like that. For some reason, this past winter really weighed me down. Considering the work situation, the economic situation, the typical midwest "permacloud" winter, and my poor physical condition that is mostly my own fault, I had plenty of good excuses to feel a little down. But the thing that just kept nagging me was that in spite of those external influences, I really didn't have reason to be down. I have an awesome wife, two beautiful, smart, funny kids, my wife and I have both kept our full time jobs, and I know Jesus is my Saviour and that I'm protected and loved. So what was there to whine about?
I still can't answer that. I never did come up with a reason for feeling that way when I've got so much going for me. I did realize, however, that when you're in a personal relationship with Christ, the good feelings and happiness are never gone from you. Sometimes they're clouded from your vision. Sometimes you get distracted. Sometimes even when you think you're really focusing on what matters and you know that God is at work in your life, you still miss what He's actually doing. It took a trip throught the country recently for me to realize that.
As I've said before, one of the responsibilities I carry at work is to make deliveries. In Elkhart County, many of those deliveries require short trips through Amish country, away from orange barrel-laced roads around our factory. All winter long I made those trips, occasionally enjoying the beauty of fresh snow on the barren corn fields that mark both sides of the road. But most times it was just a wet, gray, nervous trip, made as quickly as road conditions would allow. But about 3 weeks ago, as I drove the route that takes me down roads that often require a patient wait to get around horses pulling buggies, I looked into a couple of the same fields that seemed so depressing throughout the winter. And I smiled. In one farmer's field were ten or twelve horses, gathered into a half-circle around 2 "brand new" ponies. And I mean new. Barely able to stand, still wet and fuzzy, the ponies would stand up and wobble around on legs that just seemed way to long, but the adult horses kept closing in around them so they could lean on them as they tried to gain their balance. It made me think of all the people that have kept me from stumbling too far away from God my whole life. It made me remember that the world isn't about my comfort or relative happiness. There must be a certain amount of resolve on my part to make my world better. And, as I said, the ponies made me smile. 3 months ago, there was dead plants, snow, and mud in that field. Then there was God's message to me that came attached to a smile:
"If you think that what I've given you is gone because you can't feel happy, you're wrong. It's in there. It's in there Mike, and as long as you keep believing in Me, and keep serving my Kingdom, it will never leave you."
And that's it. Does that seem too simple? At times I'm sure it probably is. But I also know that I typically look too hard and ask the wrong questions when I'm seeking God's presence in my life. He's given me all that I need. He'll continue to give me all that I need. I'll be sad again sometime, I'm sure. But this is one more lesson He's given me to use when those feelings return, as I'm they sure they will. With God's help, though, maybe next time won't feel so heavy to me.
My prayer for you is not that you look harder for God in your life. It's not that you have some sort of huge revelation that changes your views on everything. No, my prayer is that you simply realize that God can give you all that you need. You get to keep it, but to keep it you must share it. And you must stay in touch with Him through it all. My prayer is that the Holy Spirit guides your eyes to the ponies, but doesn't blind you to the mud.
When you know God and His son, Jesus Christ, you're given everything that matters. And even in those times when you feel you've lost it, be assured that if you love the Lord, it's in there.
Peace,
Mike
That's what I thought.
At some point, we all go through times where something just isn't right. We feel sad, and maybe we're not sure why. For some, there's a clinical explanation. Maybe it's depression, or grief, or anxiety. But even when you're told that there's a logical explanation for feeling the way you do, that doesn't make you feel any better.
I recently went through a time like that. For some reason, this past winter really weighed me down. Considering the work situation, the economic situation, the typical midwest "permacloud" winter, and my poor physical condition that is mostly my own fault, I had plenty of good excuses to feel a little down. But the thing that just kept nagging me was that in spite of those external influences, I really didn't have reason to be down. I have an awesome wife, two beautiful, smart, funny kids, my wife and I have both kept our full time jobs, and I know Jesus is my Saviour and that I'm protected and loved. So what was there to whine about?
I still can't answer that. I never did come up with a reason for feeling that way when I've got so much going for me. I did realize, however, that when you're in a personal relationship with Christ, the good feelings and happiness are never gone from you. Sometimes they're clouded from your vision. Sometimes you get distracted. Sometimes even when you think you're really focusing on what matters and you know that God is at work in your life, you still miss what He's actually doing. It took a trip throught the country recently for me to realize that.
As I've said before, one of the responsibilities I carry at work is to make deliveries. In Elkhart County, many of those deliveries require short trips through Amish country, away from orange barrel-laced roads around our factory. All winter long I made those trips, occasionally enjoying the beauty of fresh snow on the barren corn fields that mark both sides of the road. But most times it was just a wet, gray, nervous trip, made as quickly as road conditions would allow. But about 3 weeks ago, as I drove the route that takes me down roads that often require a patient wait to get around horses pulling buggies, I looked into a couple of the same fields that seemed so depressing throughout the winter. And I smiled. In one farmer's field were ten or twelve horses, gathered into a half-circle around 2 "brand new" ponies. And I mean new. Barely able to stand, still wet and fuzzy, the ponies would stand up and wobble around on legs that just seemed way to long, but the adult horses kept closing in around them so they could lean on them as they tried to gain their balance. It made me think of all the people that have kept me from stumbling too far away from God my whole life. It made me remember that the world isn't about my comfort or relative happiness. There must be a certain amount of resolve on my part to make my world better. And, as I said, the ponies made me smile. 3 months ago, there was dead plants, snow, and mud in that field. Then there was God's message to me that came attached to a smile:
"If you think that what I've given you is gone because you can't feel happy, you're wrong. It's in there. It's in there Mike, and as long as you keep believing in Me, and keep serving my Kingdom, it will never leave you."
And that's it. Does that seem too simple? At times I'm sure it probably is. But I also know that I typically look too hard and ask the wrong questions when I'm seeking God's presence in my life. He's given me all that I need. He'll continue to give me all that I need. I'll be sad again sometime, I'm sure. But this is one more lesson He's given me to use when those feelings return, as I'm they sure they will. With God's help, though, maybe next time won't feel so heavy to me.
My prayer for you is not that you look harder for God in your life. It's not that you have some sort of huge revelation that changes your views on everything. No, my prayer is that you simply realize that God can give you all that you need. You get to keep it, but to keep it you must share it. And you must stay in touch with Him through it all. My prayer is that the Holy Spirit guides your eyes to the ponies, but doesn't blind you to the mud.
When you know God and His son, Jesus Christ, you're given everything that matters. And even in those times when you feel you've lost it, be assured that if you love the Lord, it's in there.
Peace,
Mike
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